in brief

I went shoe shopping with Joyce and John. Nothing much happened. John found some nice sandals.

procession music and pyramid schemes

My friend Joyce wanted me to play the cello in her wedding. Or maybe it was someone else's wedding, but she said it would mean a lot to her if I played all the same. Before the ceremony, I accidentally left the cello hanging from a tree in a non-waterproof soft case, and during a sudden thunderstorm it became extremely waterlogged. I tried to dry it out as best I could, but as the water dripped from the f-holes the wood warped and separated.

The repairs would be costly. Another friend tricked me into joining her Amway-esque business operation to make some extra bucks. For $75, she gave me five gift-basket kits: a plastic bucket, a box of cheap Quality Street knockoff bon-bons, a bottle of vanilla-scented oil, and a Snickers bar. I was supposed to sell each for $20 and make a slim profit. Instead, I just ate all the Snickers. I was still pretty upset about the cello, and trying to sell people crap just makes me anxious.

alaskan intrigue and artisanal food

I was being held hostage by seasoned criminals (led by Clive Owen, thank goodness!) in a gourmet grocery store in Alaska. I don't think the criminals were especially interested in keeping me, because at some point I just got into an elevator and left. The streets of this Alaskan port town were mean and tough. I felt like a foreigner, wandering through crowds of leering sailors speaking in Spanish. But at some point I had been there long enough to know the ropes, and I made a new friend who had just arrived in town. I showed her the sights, which mostly included all the specialty food shops. Her favorite was the store that just made licorice in an antique train car. "Oh, what a lovely creamery!" she said. My new friend was kind of odd.